The tip of my tongue ---however you spell it - is on the tip of my tongue. Tasting the electric sparks of your... your words. My words with yours oh how the fuck they just morph into ONE. We are ONE. You and I. No resolution. Every resolve. A resolution. Hanging onto this wild vocabulary that sees no place home away from the mermaids nest - no place to come home to because I will not rescue you and you will be still with wings that never really tasted fire, refuge. I have my solitude and my voice which stretches out for miles that lands you, oh my solitude. I wish for this great big warm hot war to be gone and I wish for this bottle of red to keep strong. To wish is nothing though...we must dream it up. Live it up. There is no drinking, no wishing no time for thinking but there is. There is the leg here of thinking and of existing - so do you exist and think with me? If so then carry me home. Where in the god fuck of it all have we landed? When have I ever asked a brother or sister to carry me? Where in the god fuck of this all is it? What is it? Does it end? Where are we
now?I haven't.
I thought I saw you laying next to me the other day naked, pure and so soft gold in your laces...obstructed....and now that you are clothed with your own words, "what have you become?" So different from me. Become. The fools tarot to you. And so what have you not become? So different from me. Become. You never understood this breeze or did you? Your mask begs me to enter and I hear the wild drifting autumn winds arrive..I hear the wild autumn winds arrive because I too am a part of that arrival. I am part of this arrival...I am a a part of the end of the summer breeze. Lace me up, deconstruct. This bird song has me on my knees. We must search for truth, we must..we must still listen straight into the trees! DOG please. GOD please!
We see ourselves as often maneuvering to maintain mobility ~ For many of us it's always contingent on getting a sound, the sound always suggests what kind of melody it should be, what kind of mobility. You know, if you're in the deep woods, the quality of that sorta echo is beyond Lynchian as it really echoes back off so many surfaces of all the trees. You truly get this strange itchy ricochet effect which we must say is coming deeper into focus for it is and for whatever reason may be. Yes. Do. Lick your legs, please.
"What I fear most, I think, is the death of the imagination.... If I sit still and don't do anything, the world goes on beating like a slack drum, without meaning. We must be moving, working, making dreams to run toward; the poverty of life without dreams is too horrible to imagine."
Glow like some sort of red tide ocean that awaits the soul, diving down into electric waters2 float back into the light of what awaits the fall of autums eyes.
if you could sit out here with me in this wilderness tonight ..if you could just be next to me the rains wouldn't have such heavy, wild, red eyes.
i'm the barren of this daughter so burn me on this fire and i understand why. the suburbs and soft airplanes make me cry. my friend or foe or my mind might not stand the test of time because this will destroy you to go, lay down and die. not me yeah you and so i ask why as only the glaciers know. don't take everything, be spoiled like an ice pelican because she flies and so beautiful sometimes everything dies. go ask yourselves. put faith into yourselves...base your life on nothing and figure it out. draw the lines. ask why.
okay then don't figure it out...i'm not so arrogant, what do I know about?
i still ask why.i know why she flies.
old foagies with bitter attitudes, stop failing humanity....get over it, stop killing people, stop shunning others and summoning them to die. she flies! we are all in this mess of a human club together --- don't be blinded by your bitterness and yeah do try to come together because we can, miagrate, we fly! we can still be honest, come together and those that do not believe this should lay their breathe down and die. fly to that other world....and fly.
if we all find one good friend that will give good advice and then take them in, rely on your never think twice none of us would really ever die. the ones that says that sucks and the one that denies and the ones that says make art you and i reading this nonsense will alway fly is good. what do i mean by good. nothing! just that you should not worry about anything as glaciers are in fact just a part of your ice upon the train tracks -- keep on doing it, whatever your it is...finding your voice, the gold in your heart and from your heart ..a vision, a choice...don't lay down and die.
Woke up and got out of bed this morning with the big amnesia and paranoia of indulgence staring at an array of notebooks smudged with ashes and afterthoughts of red wine. Other people wake up after a night or long weekend on the lash having somehow gained a pocket full of diamonds that might include phone numbers on napkins, strange business cards, a new set of keys or maybe they even wake up next to a person. I emerged with writings that are faint and seem unknown and looking closer I almost recognize the handwriting, it sort of looks like mine - a ghost from the past - One things for sure...the past is alive and well and will be going into my book soon as I have recently found a home with a thoughtful, new press that believes in my writing.
I'd also like to say that I had no idea that these last four years of writing would be shape shifting into a book but I did have a vision of it stirring inside a few moths after I left Los Angeles last September and somehow ended up in Ireland . It was as if all my thoughts were clouded then yet still somehow still made great sense...following your intuition is a tremendous key in the song of creation, being in my ancestors homeland, Ireland, stirred my soul as well.
Breaking from my 15 years of residency in Los Angeles was very key for me as my identity was wrapped up in my store that closed in 2009. I wasn't looking to leave Los Angeles life just sort of called me to other places so I went. I can attest that the uninhibited vision of the mind and the ability to see beyond the limitations of the human self is beyond imaginable when you live in the moment. It's as though all of the sudden when you are aware of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don’t and make informed choices on a moment-to-moment basis more light has the opportunity to arrive -- it's that ability of living in the present that lets you live your life without regrets, especially when your in the process of creating something that comes from your spirit, a work that has no preconceived mission or statement...it's an offering, something you've nurtured, something that you know you're going to leave behind even if you don't know how you'll do it, you do it. It's a body of work, a mariposa that you birth not for financial gain but in order to keep going forward, in order to stay alive. I do the work because it's my birth right. There has been too much death. Too much struggle. Too much heartache and yes, a lot of joy as well but over the last five years there has been all this diving, diving, diving and corruption everywhere, not just in my life but here on our big blue planet. It's been happening way longer than five years but that's when a lot of us living in America were hugely impacted. A lot of loss for many and that's okay as it helped many of us open our eyes and wake up. So yeah, we are all living in these strange times and for many in other lands life has greatly changed too. It's my thought that in order to move through the inevitable suffering and to attain more peace it just makes sense, at least to me, to give more offerings - to leave something behind...to keep dreaming things alive.
There are still miles to go but with more dedication my mission, my book that I will birth with this new press will be available in early 2014. Please stay tuned. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart as it truly means so much to have your support.
I got my Kryptonite guard and I got my feminine sensitivity and I'm in the process of it all right now - in fact I've been in that process my whole life but I never doubted myself unless it was time to pull back as there are, most certainly times for the reigns. I see so many voices that do not speak to others or the kids freely and when they do they speak to them with fear and I wonder why. So much segregation of the masculine and feminine and we could all learn so much from each other if we'd just open our eyes. I am grateful for the mentors that have been in my life, even if they aren't here now their voice and spirit do continue ride. I live in America and right now I'm here wondering where do all the American tough angels ride? Horses lunge with raw urgency and this album today speaks another language than when I was just 16 but I still ride. Reverting back to this classic, great causes me to realize that yeah I ride and I am also just a mammal, just like you and you and YOU so where are all the women with strong voices today? Fact is that It's just as much of a process of learning to "become" a "woman" as it is for men wrestling with all this ballyhooed "manhood" business so get up girls...I mean girls because I don't know many women...it's time to walk a Bo Diddley and ride. What's the point of keeping your passions low....let your great passion out and just ride. and if you're really out of sorts and cannot hear this greatness again just imagine biting Cherrie Curries nippels off..that should do it, let's ride!
and sometimes the chains of love and the plenty, the old pig and meeting that pig in the river enslaves us..ah! the dream...the death of the father. the weapon of woman. the portrait of man. dear boyscouts, now be pleased to be seated. sphinx, image maker... this is your wedding and only your memories will remain.
AND THE SOUL LEAVES THE BODY
Photos Saudek
I am in the midst of unpacking a few treasured books I have managed to carry from LA to the deep South with me. I spent every last penny I had shipping these books. Unemployment pennies may I add. I found my Saudek book...it is a lofty treasure and I knew I couldn't part without it. It was like Sophies choice during that time of leaving for me, that was when I became a warrior of the Gods and my lamp took bright light again. I parted with 2 little lives (one of my cats - 19 year old was put down as she was ill and the other that I found a new loving home for) I will try to refrain from the past and keep in the present but this book still brings up so much for me. I'm not sure I can even speak of it now that I've started except to say it, in all of its glorious splendour was worth the weight, tales of love and ruination. I come closer today but then again visions disappear in the west...and then I chase back to recollect all that old tart vanishes over. It's been a very long day into night, no sleep. This book out of darkness arrives from a card-board shipping box that was lost in the depths of the closet I let it rest in for the last 9 months...it takes me by the hand, leads me home back to this thought: I don't think I need another violin teacher, as a child, I undderstood nothing of that appauling theatre of love. I never did. Then the fire. The burn. The loving of myself. And now that I know even less than before I know more. What's it all mean? This. This reunion between my east and my west and then I know.
I'm glad Kate is still with us....50 Years of Snow (((+)))) Jeff Hiatt treated that piano with such depth, polish and air that sometimes when it's hard to select the 'great' from Kate I revert back to this one as the whole album remains so unsettling and yet still so comforting to me.
It's as though I can still smell the homecookin'
Happy Birthday Kate
You helped me shape much of my artistic vision
in this crazy, madhouse of a beautiful life.
This womans' work -- YES.
A vision that's true and founded is really all any of us need!
I was in deep meditation when I found myself in a very large and very old southern style mansion -- The kind found in the deep South of the US, where I was born. It had hundreds of doors that were chalk white with lead crystal door knobs. I then saw the SUN opening and closing doors. Some doors opened very fast and closed very fast and some doors slammed fast and hard. The SUN then spoke to me and said in a feminine voice: Tell my people that I am closing doors in their life and opening new doors for them to go through do not be afraid as I am closing doors in their lives and I will open new doors for them to go through. Then that same SUN said to me, I know your works and I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have strength, have kept the word with me , to yourself, and have not denied the GOD LIGHT in you. Whatever this means resonated in me and immediately reminded me of a passage from many books I've read which the themes are based on the door and knocking the open and the close. YES - I stand at the door and I knock. If anyone hears this voice and opens the door, I will come in to her/him and dine with thiem, and she/he with me. I came to the conclusion after thinking about this meditation that time is up and yet there is still time, but there is no time.
A soundtrack. My favorite pen. A No. 2 pencil. A Notebook. A digital connection. A non-red planet. A personal assistant named Olive. A plymouth satellite. A dress that's been bleached by the moon for my meeting with the sun and a good ole rusty axe that I found in a shed in my fathers back yard. YEP. CHECK PLEASE.
Church of the Victorian Cult: Milk: I sit on this drowned porch with a light shining above...my diluted glass of red milk wont conjure you, nor do I want it to. Milk from my b...
