Woke up and got out of bed this morning with the big amnesia and paranoia of indulgence staring at an array of notebooks smudged with ashes and afterthoughts of red wine. Other people wake up after a night or long weekend on the lash having somehow gained a pocket full of diamonds that might include phone numbers on napkins, strange business cards, a new set of keys or maybe they even wake up next to a person. I emerged with writings that are faint and seem unknown and looking closer I almost recognize the handwriting, it sort of looks like mine - a ghost from the past - One things for sure...the past is alive and well and will be going into my book soon as I have recently found a home with a thoughtful, new press that believes in my writing.
I'd also like to say that I had no idea that these last four years of writing would be shape shifting into a book but I did have a vision of it stirring inside a few moths after I left Los Angeles last September and somehow ended up in Ireland . It was as if all my thoughts were clouded then yet still somehow still made great sense...following your intuition is a tremendous key in the song of creation, being in my ancestors homeland, Ireland, stirred my soul as well.
Breaking from my 15 years of residency in Los Angeles was very key for me as my identity was wrapped up in my store that closed in 2009. I wasn't looking to leave Los Angeles life just sort of called me to other places so I went. I can attest that the uninhibited vision of the mind and the ability to see beyond the limitations of the human self is beyond imaginable when you live in the moment. It's as though all of the sudden when you are aware of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don’t and make informed choices on a moment-to-moment basis more light has the opportunity to arrive -- it's that ability of living in the present that lets you live your life without regrets, especially when your in the process of creating something that comes from your spirit, a work that has no preconceived mission or statement...it's an offering, something you've nurtured, something that you know you're going to leave behind even if you don't know how you'll do it, you do it. It's a body of work, a mariposa that you birth not for financial gain but in order to keep going forward, in order to stay alive. I do the work because it's my birth right. There has been too much death. Too much struggle. Too much heartache and yes, a lot of joy as well but over the last five years there has been all this diving, diving, diving and corruption everywhere, not just in my life but here on our big blue planet. It's been happening way longer than five years but that's when a lot of us living in America were hugely impacted. A lot of loss for many and that's okay as it helped many of us open our eyes and wake up. So yeah, we are all living in these strange times and for many in other lands life has greatly changed too. It's my thought that in order to move through the inevitable suffering and to attain more peace it just makes sense, at least to me, to give more offerings - to leave something behind...to keep dreaming things alive.
There are still miles to go but with more dedication my mission, my book that I will birth with this new press will be available in early 2014. Please stay tuned. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart as it truly means so much to have your support.
Words © Wendy Rose Watson