Friday, November 29, 2013
The path I have taken has gone to many places and challenged a lot of my thinking and I suppose that can be frightening for some individuals but I don't see things like that. I was born a wanderer. I have always had a deep inner desire for travel and adventure and I've always set my own pace in life without being governed by tradition, though tradition surely seems to wanna govern me. I'm not saying that I'm not founded with deep roots that grow up nor am I saying that there aren't drawbacks to being true to yourself when you're a wanderer. There can be many complications that go hand and hand with this path. Being a seeker, a wanderer is plagued with uphill climbs but it can also mean many great things; poetic sensibility, self-reflection, empathy, it can mean a hedonism and a libertarianism and also a lack of judgement in the best of ways. What I think is frightening is when you don't push through to your own limits, and then to know when to limit yourself when you reach that point. Then again there are no real limits, or are there? When you don't go the miles in your lifes work, listen inside and fine tune your calling no matter how hard it is or how much time it takes you may find yourself in the half life. Purgatory. And by the way that is part of the natural process. Its not estranged, at least for me. Your own projections of what is and is not acceptable for you might become unclear. This is the great challenge. The challenge to break on through. This is the other side. To even know this is profound, especially when you're on the road and defining things, finding your clear. I've found that when you don't know when to close or open the door you get stuck in the half world and that's just no good, then again that place is there to teach you something about yourself so you're not through learning and that is good. That place can be one of the coldest times in hell, one of those times when the life spray cools in the thrust of the strand, with flicks of the tongues, blinks of the eye and touch of hands but you will come through and you wont always be there. You will, if your spirit is strong enough get back up and go at it again and again and again and again. There is no promise of anything though, outside of truly knowing yourself. Your limits and your deep love and you will have incredible respect for yourself for setting your sails North even if you end up somewhere faintly familiar but also very unrecognizable in the deep South or just in an ocean of thought, which may be the case for me right now and by the way, and for a wanderer is a very sensual and moving place to be.