Dear American Apparel thanks so much for the invitation that popped up in my inbox with a menstruating vagina on the chest but next time you come up with such a clever idea you may wanna consider hiring me to do the design work as your designer obviously left out the teeth and come on, where's the proper companion shirt for the fellas? You know the one that showcases a giant erect penis across the chest? You have inspired me though as I now know what I'm purchasing for all of my family and female friends this X-mas. It is ,after all,right around the corner and you know that I love supporting businesses that once sexually harassed their employees AND has the highest paid immigrant rate in this great country we share. Furthermore, your team is clearly bursting with creativity -- if all else fails just put a bleeding vagina on it, this will surely boost sales in an economy that's cut throat busted -- gotta get your act together because the dollar is crashing and bleeding vaginas bring in the gold! Yeah.
Meanwhile, after I make my early X-mas purchases you're emails are being deleted from my inbox. No, not because you are pushing the levels of so called creativity but because it's NOT creative and it stands for nothing except maybe the halt of child brides in other countries that die on their wedding nights from internal bleeding. Sorry, I can't think clearly because I'm currently bleeding, forgive me. I also forgot your line is made in America. So many happy good times indeed!
So, I just thought you should know that I'm not angry with you. However, since I'm an American woman I feel the need to exercise my fingertips (not my voice) a little and tell you that I have NO desire to wear an advert that greets the general public with a warm hello and a bunch of wiccan period blood. Sure, I may bleed and then draw down the moon from time to time but obviously whatever old sod created this is lacking the real muse, which IS The American Woman -- sure we bleed and yeah American Apparel as the song goes....stay (the fuck) away from me!